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How to Find Yourself

Negative thoughts never really leave our side. Instead, they keep coming and we tend to forget – who we are? Moreover, we also listen to our inner critic who gives away bad vibes about ourselves. Thus, while wandering off directionless, a thought pops up – how to find yourself? Feeling lost in life because of career, relationships, society is common. People will demoralize you, but you just need to stay strong and don’t have to worry.

However, do you still want to unearth the confidence you lost? And want to embrace happiness, inner strength, and destiny? Then, don’t drain yourself and continue reading this article. We assure you that you will be able to explore this riddle – how to find yourself?

Why Are You Struggling To Find Yourself?


There are a myriad of reasons because of which a person struggles from finding himself/herself. But with the points mentioned below, we believe that it will clear the puzzlement. And a confused person will be able to find a way back to get onto normal life.

1. Born in a dysfunctional family

Born in a dysfunctional family

Born in a dysfunctional family has a far-reaching effect on a person. Because children from dysfunctional families are too engulfed in abuse, family issues, or stricter rules. That they have no time and energy to explore their likes as well as dislikes.

Besides, a study also points out that childhood trauma causes health risks in adulthood. Because childhood is the foundation of beliefs and values.

And that’s why many are terrified to discover themselves. They also choose to not confide anything to their family members.

2. Setting expectations for other people

Setting expectations for other people

Many people start feeling lost in their life because they live on the terms of other people. They value the beliefs of other people because they think those people are right. Furthermore, they do not question the authenticity of these beliefs. Moreover, individuals who feel lost also give preference to other opinions. They constantly seek the advice of others, then believing themselves.

Amidst this, media like TV, movie shows also play a vital role. Because they keep bombarding to become someone that you are not!

3. Submerged in fear

Submerged in fear

Living under fear certainly has far-reaching effects on an individual. And one of them is the feeling of losing oneself. People who are lost have fear embodied in every part of their life. It is present in their homes, relationships, workplace, heart, and mind. And due to this fear, they unwelcome every good vibe, thus feeling lost in life.

4. Surrounded by the wrong set of people

Surrounded by the wrong set of people

Who likes to be demoralized, criticized, or even blamed for no reason? But when a person is surrounded by toxic people, it is followed by poisoning of mind and soul.

This lot of people are those who are constantly whining, complaining, criticizing everything. And such people are the ones who derail a person from his/her life furthermore adding negativity.

5. They demean themselves

They demean themselves

People who feel lost in life, usually fall prey to low self-esteem. They are so involved in the negativity that they ignore the brighter side. In this course, they also neglect their inner beauty and power.

Instead, they are unable to accept the fact that they are capable of. The only thing that haunts them is that they are unimportant, oblivious, and unworthy.

6. The tendency of controlling everything

The tendency of controlling everything

People who are lost do not acknowledge the natural flow of life. Further, to avoid this flow, they are always striving to change it by taking control of it. Because of which they are disconnected from the world; and lose control over mind and soul. Apart from this, they also attach ‘logic’ to everything and anything. By which, curtailing their imagination and not moving on in life.

So, now you know the root cause of feeling lost. But if you still think it unimportant to find oneself. Then, let’s explore why it is important. But before we get into it, let’s see how feeling unimportant affects an individual.

Many forget the dangers of living a life without knowing – who you are! Moreover, the loss of identity leads to stress and weak mental health. Besides this, other problems arouse if you are unable to find yourself.

  • Addiction
  • Dwindling relationships
  • Anxiety
  • Poor mental health
  • Depression
  • Feeling of hopelessness
  • No self-confidence
  • Dependability on other people
  • Financial hurdles
  • Dreams of incompetency

All these experiences are exhausting on both – mental and emotional levels. In times like this, it becomes difficult to make one right decision. We tend to spend more time pleasing other people or behave to up their expectations. Instead of doing all this isn’t it best to find yourself.

How To Find Yourself?


1. Accept yourself

Accept yourself

It is very important to know the important aspects of oneself. Then be it negative or positive. So, start by accepting your negative aspects. When you start accepting them, you can work upon them and improve.

Most importantly, acknowledge and stay true to yourself. While not transforming into a person for the people around you.

2. Embrace solitude

Embrace solitude

Sometimes, all that noise, people, and technology might wear you out. Thus, not able to think straight. Amidst this, to find yourself, just stay silent, and embrace solitude. Solitude is way opposite of loneliness. Besides, it boasts many positive effects on a person.

In solitude, there is no one to tell you what to do. There will be no one around to influence you. Moreover, you get a direction on how to spend your life without worrying about others.

Nevertheless, it helps you to know yourself better!

3. Take risks

Take risks

Are you going soft on yourself? Are you still lingering in your comfort zone? Then, it’s time to break free and take a plunge. Playing safe makes you feel lost in life. Because you are aware of what is going to happen in the future.

So, accept change. Don’t go for a mediocre life because you will stay in the same loop. You will never get a chance to explore and evaluate how strong you are! So, taking risks sometimes is a lucrative option.

4. Don’t let anyone interfere in your life

Don’t let anyone interfere in your life

There are always people who will always dictate terms about things to be done. But you take your call and differentiate between the good and the bad. Don’t let anyone tell you that whatever you are going to undertake is unreachable. Instead, focus on yourself, your strengths, and dream big! There are many people who faced rejection.

For example, Oprah Winfrey was told she was unfit for television news. But that did not disappoint her; instead, she is dubbed as the “Queen of All Media.”

So, don’t let people demoralize you!

5. Challenge yourself

Challenge yourself

If you want to find yourself, then it is imperative to challenge your inner self. If you are constantly saying that, “I cannot conquer,” or “I am unable to mend things in life.” Then you will be attracting those negative vibes. Instead, recite affirmations to embrace positivity in life.

They minimize the negativity within you. Studies have also pointed out that self-affirmations help in boosting problem-solving.

6. Lead a healthy lifestyle

Lead a healthy lifestyle

It doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, or which car you drive. Because if you aren’t healthy then you will have no positivity in life. So, stick to a healthy regime. Eat healthy, exercise, avoid addictions, and you never know it might help you find yourself.

Studies highlight that eating right boosts your memory.  Alongside this, physical exercise on a daily basis makes your brain work better and helps in clear thinking.

So, if you are feeling lost or going through emotional pain, you know what to do!

7. Take feedback from people

Take feedback from people

If you don’t know anything about yourself, then it’s best to take feedback.  Maybe hearing from others may motivate you to get better while getting confidence. Ask them about the strengths and weaknesses that they see in you.

It is obvious that their opinion might not be perfect but pay attention to their suggestions. You never know their suggestions might lead to positive improvisations. Sometimes, outsiders might see things that we are unable to see within us!

8. Start conquering your world

Start conquering your world

Start taking things in your hands. And start by following your passion. If you think, you can follow a passion and mold it into a lucrative career, then do it! Amidst this, if you can’t find a way, then seek a mentor.

A mentor will help you sail through unforeseen bumps that prevent your success. Furthermore, if you think you are unhappy in your career then take a decision. All-in-all, take the charge and live your life on your terms.

9. Let go the fear

Let go the fear

If you think that a particular thing is right. Then stand up for it. Don’t be scared to speak up. Don’t demean yourself thinking, “what others will think of me?” Pay attention to what others have to say.

But be polite enough to convey when they are wrong. And while doing all this, keep your negative thoughts at bay. Also, let go of your critical side. Critical comments won’t help you grow! If you are choosing happiness, then let it be that way.

10. Identify the joys in life

Identify the joys in life

Identify things that give you immense joy and happiness. Things that give you joy – help you stay positive for a long time. It is obvious that there are bad things too in line. But good things will bring in positivity in life. Good things will have all your attention. And they will help you relive those happy memories once again!

Productive Things You Can Do While Feeling Lost


  1. Explore the outside world by taking a stroll in the garden. Feel the fresh breeze and appreciate the beauty of nature.
  2. To clear your mind, start writing down your thoughts. It could be goals, achievements, or futuristic planning.
  3. Stay connected with family members. Call friends or colleagues who you are comfortable with, and pour your heart out.
  4. Keep an eye on short-term goals. It will help you to break through the negative loop. And whenever you achieve any goal, compliment yourself!
  5. Start meditating. Studies have time and again stated the benefits of meditation.
  6. Pamper yourself by getting a massage. It will free your muscles from excessive tension. And help you relax in the best possible way.
  7. Get your pet or cuddle someone else’s dog or cat. Studies show that pets provide support to people suffering from some mental illness. They also lower stress and anxiety.

How Finding Yourself Can Help?


SUMMARY
When you are unable to unearth the question – how to find yourself. Then a person may get stuck in a loop to never get out of it. Instead, finding the answer may give a chance to take control of life with a plethora of benefits.

  1. You will find direction in life. You will start knowing yourself better. With time, you might be able to differentiate how you were before and after finding yourself. Moreover, you will start discovering more and more about you!
  2. Finding oneself is boon while focusing on life goals. And as the individual achieves these goals, he/she starts feeling more confident than ever. Eventually feeling that no hurdle is impossible and nothing is out of reach is appealing.
  3. After finding yourself, a person can declutter misjudgments. An individual can recognize what his/her true calling is! They start trusting their instincts and believing in themselves. Eventually proving to the world that they are capable of achieving success. And with this, they can follow the roadmap, they have chosen for themselves.
  4. Finding yourself helps in changing the perspective towards life. You start positively looking at life experiences. Most importantly, it helps in elevating you to the next adventure of life with utmost understanding and confidence.
  5. Finding yourself is like embracing a new “YOU.” With this, a person can’t relapse to the ‘lost’ phase. Instead, with finding yourself, you get a chance to become a person – who you always wanted to be!
  6. When you know yourself better than you become good at decision-making. You can make the right choices in life, then be it petty or big decisions. Moreover, you stick to guidelines to solve your problems.
  7. Finding oneself helps in earning self-control. You know to differentiate between good and bad habits. You have the right insights to ignite your willpower!
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